Rev. Tom Sorenson, Pastor
March 14, 2010

Scripture:

Let us pray: May the words of my mouth and the meditations of all of our hearts be acceptable in your sight O God, our strength and our redeemer. Amen.

Okay. We get it. We get what our readings from 2 Corinthians and Luke are trying to tell us this morning. In Jesus Christ God reconciles the world to Godself and doesn’t count the world’s transgressions against it. God reconciles us to God and doesn’t count our transgressions against us. God rejoices at the return of the Prodigal, the return of the sinner who repents and returns to God. We know this God. This is the God of grace, mercy, and forgiveness that we believe in, that we’ve heard an awful lot about. God forgives. Yeah. We know. As the German poet Heinrich Heine said when asked on his deathbed if he though God would forgive him, “God will forgive me. That’s His business.” God’s in the forgiving business. We get that.

Yes, God forgives; but here’s another, more difficult question. Do we forgive? Do we forgive others who have hurt us, who have trespassed against us? Hmm. That one’s harder, isn’t it; but here’s an even harder one. Do we forgive ourselves? When we mess up, when we hurt someone else, when we hurt someone we love through our thoughtless, selfish acts, how do we treat ourselves? Maybe we deny that we’ve ever done such a thing, but I doubt that very many of you do that. I’ve said before from this pulpit that the hardest person for us to forgive is ourselves; and when I’ve said it I’ve seen a lot of heads nodding. Most of us have a terrible time forgiving ourselves. I think we all, or most of us anyway, carry around a good deal of guilt and remorse about mistakes that we’ve made, things we’ve done wrong, ways in which he have hurt others, especially those we love the most. It’s really, really hard to forgive ourselves for those things. I’m not sure why that is. Maybe it’s because we have higher expectations of ourselves than we do of other people. I don’t know. I do know that for most of us, and for me, forgiving ourselves is more than we can manage most of the time. And because we can’t forgive ourselves we feel pretty terrible whenever we remember those wrongs we’ve done, those sins we’ve committed.

Well, the Good News this morning is that it doesn’t have to be that way. It doesn’t have to be that way precisely because God forgives us. God, even God, the Spirit who is perfect in every way, who indeed defines perfection, forgives even us, even us who can’t forgive ourselves. God forgives even the Prodigal Son. He had squandered fully one half of his father’s considerable wealth on dissolute living, yet Jesus’ parable tells us that God forgives even him. Has any of you ever done anything that bad? Maybe, although I suspect that most of us haven’t. Yet God forgives even the Prodigal. So surely God forgives us, no matter what it is that we have done wrong.

God forgives us, so consider this: Who are we to say that God is wrong? God says our sin is forgivable; who are we to say that it isn’t? It is. We really can forgive ourselves when we know that God forgives us. So to try to show you that that is true, I’m going to lead you now in an exercise, an exercise in self-forgiveness. We’re going to practice forgiving ourselves. I’m going to lead you through a meditation on forgiving yourself. So close your eyes if you like, and follow along.

Start by imagining something you’ve done, maybe the worst thing you’ve ever done, that requires forgiveness but for which you have not been able to forgive yourself. Call that thing to mind. Notice how it feels. That’s probably not very comfortable, but it is necessary. Hold that transgression, that sin in your mind and in your heart. Focus on how that feels.

Now say to yourself: God forgives you. Say it again. God forgives you. Now say it yet again. God forgives you. Now make it more concrete. Imagine yourself coming home to God. You’re filled of guilt. You’re walking toward the heavenly throne to throw yourself on God’s mercy. You’re going to confess and beg God to forgive you and take you back. How do you feel? Are you afraid? Are you afraid of how God will be with you? You know what you deserve. Are you afraid that God might just give you what you deserve?

Now imagine God coming out to meet you. You see God coming to meet you before you’ve gotten anywhere near heaven, before you’ve had a chance to say a thing to God. How does that feel? Reassuring? Or frightening perhaps? Now: See God’s arms open wide to receive you, to embrace you, to hug you. See God wrapping you up God’s everlasting arms and covering you up in a luxurious robe. See God putting a fine ring on your finger. See God spreading a joyous feast before you and throwing a heavenly party for you. Hear God say “We must celebrate, because this child of mine was lost but now is found.” How does that feel?

Now say to yourself: God forgives you, so I forgive you. Say it again: I forgive you. Say it again: I forgive you. Say it again: As God forgives you, so I forgive you. Give yourself a big hug, in your mind or even with your arms if you like. Remember what it felt like to know that God forgives you. Let that feeling sink in. Drink it in. Revel in it. Know that you are forgiven. Know that you even forgive yourself! Know that because God forgives you, you can forgive yourself. Know that God is right. Your sin is forgivable, even by you. It’s not just forgivable. It is forgiven. Even by you.

Okay. Open your eyes. Let me suggest another way to look at it. In Jesus’ parable the father clearly represents God. God forgave the Prodigal Son. Do you think he could accept God’s forgiveness? I mean, God forgiving us doesn’t mean a whole lot to us unless we can accept that forgiveness. Unless we can make it real in our hearts, in our minds, in our souls. Do you think the Prodigal Son could say to himself my father forgives me, so I can let go of my guilt and live the life of a forgiven person? More importantly, can you say God forgives me, so I can let go of my guilt and live the life of a forgiven person? I know it’s not easy, but here’s the thing. If we can’t accept God’s forgiveness, if we can’t forgive ourselves, let go of our guilt, and live the life of a forgiven person, we are saying nothing less than that God is wrong. We’re saying we know better than God does. And we are making God’s forgiveness empty, hollow, without meaning in our lives. Who are we to do that?

Friends, the simple and amazing truth is that God’s way is the way of forgiveness. That really is the great Good News of Jesus Christ. God’s way is the way of forgiveness, and that means that it must be our way too. Every week we pray to God “forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” Do we mean it? Do we forgive our debtors, those who have transgressed against us? Maybe even more importantly for our spiritual health: Do we forgive ourselves? Do we forgives ourselves when we have transgressed against ourselves, against our own better nature, against our expectations of ourselves, against what we know to be right? I know it’s not easy. If I found it easy I probably wouldn’t be talking about it like this right now. It’s not easy, but the way of forgiveness is God’s way. It is Christ’s way. May God grant us the grace to make it our way. Amen.